Rugby Club (Men's): Treasurer

Strengths:

• Organised
• Efficient
• Russian language
• Vodka and milk konsumption
• Loose game
• 130 Bench

Weaknesses:

• Past involvement with hockey
• £3 tweed jacket
• Netball girls
• Legs
• Tequila

It goes without saying that by applying for this role I wish to take on greater responsibility within the klub. I want to give back to the klub in the same way that it offered me a warm, welcoming hand, unidentifiable pints, and several games of rug. While Koin Master must enact ruthless frugality and economy in strengthening the klub’s financial dominion, he must display equal ruthlessness in the reasonable funding of debauched nights (regulation 6.12.1 in mind); in the words of the kommittee itself, we are “a drinking klub with a rugby problem”. A balance I'm sure I kan maintain. Having recently held half a grand on behalf of the kurrent Koin Master I have shown my incorruptibility regarding fiscal dealings and my kommitment to the klub. It seems apt at this point to mention that the queue jump privilege kontained within this role shall be utilised without failure each week in order to promote klout for the klub within the walls of Scala. While outside of the sacred Scalian boundaries I have in mind virtuous aspirations for the economic expansion of the klub: namely, reliable transfer of kurry money to avoid overdraft, and re-evaluation of training investments. I appreciate your time and konsideration.

Klubmen, 

I've got a lot out of the klub this year, and, after a limited contribution as Fresher Rep, it's now time to give back. The other day, at the curry house, I ordered a lamb biryani (a rice dish), which meant I didn't have to buy rice to go with it. This enabled me to buy a peshawari naan, effectively at no extra cost. Just imagine if this piercing monetary awareness is applied to the full financial arsenal of the klub. Nevermind a peshawari naan, I'll buy the whole f******g restaurant. It's for this reason that I should be your next MoK. 

I have sizeable shoes to fill. However, bound by close ties of family and cricket purism, I am confident I'll have Callum's continued guidance throughout this journey. This guidance will help me to realise my grand ambitions for the klub. I plan on raising significant revenue through the tactful, compassionate, but absolute enforcement of membership fees. I can be very persuasive when necessary. This revenue will be supplemented by savvy fiscal policies, notably the termination of Chris. I am aware that next year's promotion will likely entail longer away journeys, so I'm sure this money will be useful in providing coach travel wherever possible (and cans for the way back). Vote for me to keep MoK in the right hands...

Much love, 

Frep