Rugby Club (Men's): 1XV Captain

Why should you vote for me? In the words of the illustrious Archie Morris 'He's a good player, too bad he's a shit bloke.

For The Club (reasons why the club should vote for me)

Sometimes in life, you are forced to do something which you would rather not but a vote for me is a vote against Basini. I am very aware that for some of you, this will be like choosing between playing Polton for the 1st XV and licking DC toes. To make this decision easier for you guys I have prepared a short list on why not to vote for Basini.

1) His chat (if he asked you if you wanted to go for a pint, you would be lying if you said yes)

2) His pulling technique (It's like watching a bird with a broken wing trying to fly)

3) His gym progress updates on his social media (who is he convincing to film these???)

4) His PDF's on how to improve the team (stop clogging up Louis DM's)

I hope with this short list I have convinced you that I am the lesser of two evils. PS If you don't make me captain I won't shut up in the team talks anyway.

For The Student Union (why the SU will like me)

The reason why I would like to be captain is I love the sport. I believe that through my own passion for the sport, I will be able to convince people to trek to regents park every Sunday. I believe that we have the capability to win the league with greater attendance to training. Finally, I believe UCL rugby is a key part of the UCL community and therefore I would seek to emulate its values of morality and inclusion within the team and wider club. I love you UCL rugby from the bottom of my cock to the tip of my shaft. xxx