Rugby Club (Men's): Social Secretary

Starting out as a social member before moving onto a 2s regular, I have thus far thoroughly enjoyed my stay at The Klub, despite my joué ability on the pitch being komical at the best of times.

To continue my climb through the ranks I have decided that a nom for social sec along side my dear flat mate Josh Fawcett, would be an appropriate next step.

Following in the footsteps of our most senior member Piers and the mighty 2nds captain Nelith does leave a lot to make up for, but I believe myself and Swampy will form an unrivalled duo.

Part of my role will be to keep Swampys deranged ideas in check whilst simultaneously providing as much phun, khun and khat as humanly possible. 

As your future social secs we pledge to drastically increase the standards of konsumption whilst keeping a firm hold on our ever developing rugby problem.

Brimg on the entrance exam,

Слава Україні

- Wladimir Klitschko

As the proud owner of highly loose game, a severely substandard rig, and a konsumption problem so extreme that it has rendered possessing a rugby problem impossible, I believe I am the prime kandidate for social secretary of state. Firstly I must assuage any koncerns that my kommitted relationship should interfere with my game, indeed this is not the kase, as wednesday night Phineas antics with El. Pres. demonstrate. Secondly I should assuage any fear that a fraiche should recieve the same treatment as my wardrobe. This koncern has been rendered null by the stress ball provided me by my therapist and by a partnership with the man who has decked me over 100 times, Mr McNeil. I can assure you that I will make every effort to make everyone's experience of social life at the club next year as enjoyable as Nelith the Elephant's week away with me, although I shall continue in the vain of my predecessor by assuring you that unlike Nelith's week away, this joué shall not be of the pill kind. An advantage I have over my opponents is severe attention difficulties resulting from a disease known at Attention Deficit Disorder, as a result I shall find myself planning socials in the most innapropriate of kircumstances, from office hours to family members' funerals, and not one social shall be a hastily boshed together trip to Phineas without a table booking. 

Yours, Lord of the Swamp, King of the Liver and Khief advisor to President Zelensky

Outcomes:

Max Jason pays his social membership. 

Win a singular boat race. 

Keep Bertie Bamber away from Scala.