Juggling and Circus Society: Equipment Officer (Master of Balls)

Like the Conservative Party, Juggling and Circus Society is completely devoid of all talent and there are no good options to lead us.  However, some of these options are less bad than others.  For this reason, I am pitching myself as the Rishi Sunak candidate as I believe I’m the least incompetent person for the job.

You should vote for me to be your Master of Balls because:

• I’m the most qualified candidate – I literally do the job half the weeks anyways so we might as well make it official.
• I have awesome hair and will let you touch it if I win
• I am a loving and caring person (I once saved a pigeon, that’s all the evidence I have for this)
• I love balls.
• It would be a massive step for diversity to have a Master of Balls who still can’t juggle.

Please vote for me I really want to put Master of Balls on my LinkedIn with no context.

We need a committee member for the clowns, not a clown of a committee member.

Are you #ReadyForSeth?

Good afternoon,

I’m honoured to take on this responsibility at a vital time for our society.

What makes the Circus Skills society great is our fundamental belief in freedom, in enterprise, and in fair play.

Our people have shown grit, courage and determination time and time again.

We now face severe global headwinds caused by Russia’s appalling war in Ukraine and the aftermath of Covid.

Now is the time to tackle the issues that are holding JACS back.

We need more investment and great jobs in every town and city across our country.

As Master of Balls, I will pursue three early priorities.

Firstly, I will get JACS juggling again.

I have a bold plan to grow the economy through tax cuts and reform.

I will cut taxes to reward hard work and boost business-led growth and investment.

I will drive reform in my mission to get the society working, building, and growing.

Secondly, I will deal hands-on with the shortfalls caused by Putin’s war.

I will take action this week to deal with equipment and to secure our future balls supply.

We shouldn’t be daunted by the challenges we face.

As strong as the storm may be, I know that the society is stronger.

Our society was built by people who get things done.

We have huge reserves of talent, of energy, and determination.

This is our vital mission to ensure opportunity and prosperity for all people and future generations. I am determined to deliver. Thank you.

I am running in opposition of Marco. We need to keep the Tories out of house.