Football Red Star: Treasurer

Comrades of RedStar, lend me your ears (and as many rubles). As a loyal soldier and captain of this glorious football collective, I’ve spent the season embodying the spirit of our team: inclusive (letting everyone but a keeper play in goal), dramatic (one or two too many red cards), and demonstrating how football is not all about the stats. While my on-pitch contributions have been at best “experimental” 003 (0 goals, 0 assists, 3 ligaments sacrificed to the redstar football gods), I’ve mastered the art of sideline management and moral support, skills that will take me far in my hopeful career as treasurer. 

Let’s be honest: You need a treasurer who’s as reliable as a the quality of the marshes and as resilient as an Eastern Bloc internet connection. I may not have scored, but I will balance the books. Together, we’ll make Red Star FC the envy of UCLFC… or at least solvent enough to afford a second match ball and a pitch.

In conclusion: Vote for me. I’ve got the capital knowledge to fund our socialist football utopia. Tovarishch, let me blast fiscal irresponsibility to row Z

#FiveYearPlanForThreePints