Election post
I am a very serious candidate.
I've got a very serious policy platform. Yes I do. Believe me, please.
If elected, I will:
- Sell UCL to the Chinese Government to fund free tuition for all students
- Make UCL Merch cheaper and better - a £50 hoodie is a crime.
- Make Senate House Library my personal Headquarters - that one is a rock-solid commitment.
Like every other fellow candidate, I, a 20 year old undergraduate student, will definitely manage to bring about meaningful change. During the 3-day annual conference in March, I will personally achieve everything people campaigned for many decades. Free housing. Free beer. Free guinea pigs for chemistry students. Literally anything - funded by the sale of UCL to China.
I am a true UCL patriot. If elected, I will go to the NUS conference and tell them from the stage that all their Universities are worse. “You wish you were at UCL suckers!” I’ll tell them just like that. That is a promise.
I will deliver (but not your pizza).
I am Stefan, a very serious candidate.
Vote Seriousness. Vote Stefan!