Marina Solo

Version as short as the time it takes the police to find a slack line in a royal park:

I have risen from the ashes to a clown. Vote.

Version fake promises:

I promise Balls! a sick & twisted year. Weekly shenanigans. A merciless battle for the return of FIRE NIGHTS. The University of London is not prepared for those comic sans emails... _{and whyyy are there no fonts in this editor? thanks for the subscript option ig}

I’ve had ‘Master of Balls’ in my LinkedIn for a year and didn’t get any internships that summer. Naturally, I must now prove commitment and career growth to my ‘potential employers’, hence i’m running for the presidentessa _(hihihihi)

_{Version blackmail:}

_{Oh i also promise to return all the equipment i stole/borrowed to Paris this year}