Xiaohongshu
Content warning: Sexual violence, rape and child sexual abuse.
I do not know how to begin.
Despite having countless conversations with survivors, I still struggle to find the words. Every time I hear that another person has experienced sexual violence, my heart breaks. Then it shatters again when I hear how the people and systems, we are told are there to protect us have failed. What happened at Cornell is shocking. But to many of us, far less surprising than it should be. We have been having the same conversations for far too long.
According to the Office for Students, 1/7 final-year undergraduate respondents has experienced sexual assault or violence since starting university. Almost 1/4 has experienced sexual harassment.
One in seven.
Think about the people sitting beside you in your lectures. Your friends, your flatmates, your classmates. Think about how many people you know whose lives may have been changed by something they have never told you about. And think about how many of those people are still asking themselves whether it was somehow their fault. I know that feeling.
I was a prepubescent boy, in my school uniform, with internal scarring, bruises and DNA evidence of my assault. Yet one of the first questions I remember being asked by a police officer was, essentially, how was it my fault? I think about that moment often. What did I do wrong? Why didn’t I stop it? Why didn’t I do more? Questions no child should ever have to ask themselves. Questions nobody should ever have to ask themselves.
I felt dirty in a body that no longer felt like mine. I would spend hours in the shower, trying to wash away shame that was never mine to bear. And I know that feeling is not mine alone. There is nothing someone can wear, drink, say, do or fail to do that makes them responsible for somebody else’s decision to assault them.
Nothing.
For far too many survivors, their suffering does not end with assault. Sexual violence impacts our health, our relationships, our education, our ability to trust others and even ourselves. And too often, the systems we turn to for protection leave us feeling powerless all over again. Fighting to be believed. Fighting to be heard. Fighting to feel safe again. We should not have to keep telling our stories to prove that this is happening. We should not have to make ourselves vulnerable, relive our experiences and put our pain on display to convince people that something needs to change.
During my election campaign, I spoke with thousands of students. Far too many shared their experiences of sexual violence with me. Some spoke about what happened to them. Others spoke about what happened afterwards, when they turned to the people and institutions they trusted for help. I carry those conversations with me.
And I think about all the people who never speak up. Who carry this quietly because they don’t know where to turn, because they’re afraid of what will happen if they tell someone, or because they’ve already seen what happens to those who do. To anyone reading this who has experienced sexual violence, I want you to know that I see you. You deserve to be heard, supported and safe. You should never have to fight for those things.
Women are disproportionately affected by sexual violence. We must recognise that. Men are survivors too, and we cannot allow discussions about sexual violence to divide us along gender lines. This is not men against women. It should be all of us against rape.
To any men reading: if you are more concerned about protecting your friends from false allegations than protecting your friends from sexual assault, I ask you to reconsider your priorities. The Crown Prosecution Service recognises that false allegations of rape are rare. Meanwhile, an estimated 1.4 million men in England and Wales have experienced sexual assault since the age of 16. Being a man does not make you immune to sexual violence.
We need to challenge the attitudes we’ve been taught to dismiss as normal, question the behaviour we excuse in our friends, and stop treating the prevention of sexual violence as somebody else’s responsibility. This is a societal problem. But that does not mean we are powerless to change it.
The reason I ran to be President was deeply personal. I wanted to turn my experience into something that could protect others and give them the support I wish I had received. I have been speaking with senior UCL leadership about how we can do more. I have been encouraged by the compassion and determination of those I’ve spoken to, and by our shared recognition that we must do better.
If there is one university in the world where students can feel safe, protected and supported to continue the education they came here for, I want UCL to be that place. A place where preventing sexual violence is taken seriously. Where survivors are at the centre of shaping the systems intended to support them. Where seeking help doesn’t mean sacrificing your education or your future. I know there are people across UCL who care deeply about this, and I want us to work together to make that ambition a reality. Because survivors are not helpless. We are not powerless. And we are certainly not defined by what somebody else did to us.
We need to stop asking what someone could have done differently to avoid being assaulted and start asking what we are going to do differently to prevent sexual violence. To you all, I want to say again: it is not your fault. It never was. And to everyone else, I ask that we never lose sight of the people behind these statistics. People whose lives have been changed by something nobody should ever have to experience.
I began by saying I did not know how to begin. But I do know how I want this to end.
With fewer people having stories like mine to tell. With survivors receiving the compassion, dignity and support they deserve. And with a university community that refuses to accept sexual violence as an inevitable part of life.
We cannot undo the harm that has already been done. But together, we can change what happens next.
And I intend to do everything in my power to make sure we do.
Christian
Students' Union President
Support is available
We have a dedicated service to support anyone who has experienced sexual violence or gender-based abuse at any time in their lives.
Our Sexual Violence Liason Officer service gives you more options and greater access to support, whether what happened was recent, in the past, on campus or off campus. We understand that everyone’s experience is different, and we’re here for you, no matter what you’re going through.
The Sexual Violence Liaison Officers (SVLOs) work in the Students’ Union Advice Service in the Harm and Prevention Team. They are specially trained to support anyone who experiences sexual violence, harassment, or unwanted behaviour.
UCL support
If you’ve experienced sexual violence, harassment or abuse, you’re not alone and support is available whenever you feel ready to reach out.
Alongside the help we can offer in the Students’ Union, UCL has a range of services that can also support you.
- Specialist Advice & Casework Team
UCL's Specialist Advice & Casework Team offers support to students who have experienced sexual violence. They provide confidential, non-judgemental advice around disclosing your experience, navigating university processes, liaising with external services and understanding the criminal justice system.
You can book an appointment through askUCL to access support from their team.- Independent Sexual Violence Advisers (ISVAs)
UCL’s ISVAs are based in the Casework Team and can offer emotional and practical support, information and guidance, whether or not you choose to report what’s happened to UCL.
To arrange a confidential appointment, you can email [email protected].- Report + Support
UCL's Report + Support tool allows students to report experiences of unacceptable behaviours such as sexual violence and harassment. You can choose to either report anonymously or provide your contact details to access information about support and reporting options.
- Counselling Services
UCL's Counselling Services offer up to six sessions of free counselling for students looking for therapeutic and emotional support. Appointments are confidential and available to all students.
- Crime Prevention and Personal Safety Team
An adviser from UCL's Crime Prevention and Personal Safety Team can offer advice and support if you are thinking about or wishing to report a sexual assault to the Police.
You can arrange an appointment by emailing [email protected].- Student Support and Wellbeing Services
UCL’s Student Support and Wellbeing Services have expert wellbeing, disability and mental health advisers that can provide a safe, confidential and non-judgemental space if you would like to receive some support after experiencing sexual violence, harassment or abuse.
If you would like to speak to someone about the support options available to you, you can call UCL’s Student Support and Wellbeing Services Phone Line on +44 (0)20 3108 8836 during office hours. You can also log an enquiry through askUCL to access their services.- 24/7 Student Support Line
UCL's 24/7 Student Support Line can provide emotional support and short-term counselling outside of office hours. The support line is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and is free and confidential.